My name is Ashley Weissmann. I am a washed-up athlete, and I am not the only one.
For as long as I can remember, I've played organized sports. It started with Karate when I was three, and I had my black belt by age nine. I danced for years, hung up the tutu for a baseball bat, and eventually, I found home with the sport of basketball. I was never the fastest, definitely not the tallest, but I can say with full confidence I sure as fuck was the toughest.You see, I grew up with a dad who was in law enforcement, a mom who was a well-known fitness trainer in our area, and an older brother. I had no choice but to be tough. Weekdays were spent going to school and playing sports. Weekends were spent doing yard work and playing sports. I can't tell you which days were spent on rest. 7 am was considered sleeping in, 5 am was the new norm once I started high school, and if I'm being honest - I loved every second of the grind. Playing basketball at the collegiate level on a full-ride scholarship was my goal, and there was nothing that was going to stop me from achieving it.
Basketball was my first love, as I know it was for many other people out there. I loved everything about it. The sound of shoes squeaking on a court, how a ref's whistle can cut through a packed stadium, and my favorite... how a chain net sounds when you sink a perfect swish. I also remember being cussed out before becoming a teenager, being told if I wanted to play and cry like a girl I could sit on the bench, and I've lost count of the amount of times my jersey has been yanked by a grown adult.
To be clear, I love tough love. I was the kid who could take it. I was never the player that needed to be coddled. Something about being pushed in that way lit a fire under me. I just wish I knew the impact it would make for the rest of my life. Because what they don't tell you about playing sports at a high level, is that one day it will be over. And you will still crave that tough love, you will always feel the need to prove your worth, and if feelings become too intense you'll avoid them like the plague. After all, there's no crying in sports.
This blog marks the beginning of delving into my personal journey - navigating the highs and lows of sports, confronting the identity shift post-athletic career, and unraveling the quest to redefine oneself without the familiar comfort of a jersey. It's about grappling with the inner shame and guilt of missing a workout, the juggle of time management now that schedules aren't pre-set, and the relentless drive to prove oneself. The constant whisper in your mind urging you to push harder, toughen up, and never settle because you're not done yet.
There's a whole community of us washed-up athletes out there. My hope is to shed some light that you're not alone..not by a long shot.